Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
