i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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