I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
