i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
