Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
