I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
