Christians are straight up FREAKS
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
