i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
