dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
