fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
