My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
