first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
