I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
