Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
