dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
