I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
