Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
