he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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