im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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