It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
