Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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