My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Pants are for mortals
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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