Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
