the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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