he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
