wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Randomize
