Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dear god my vagina.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
