Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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