i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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