i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
