What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
