I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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