im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
