yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
