I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
