Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The best revenge is premature balding
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
