So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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