i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
my poor anus
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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