There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
someone owes me an orgasm
My pussy is not your playground.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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