Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
