im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
