I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
