So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
