I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
True strength comes from lack of pants
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
