my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
