Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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