He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
