i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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