I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
