You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
